20 Somethings....

20 Somethings...

"Good luck on them 20 somethings, But God Bless these 20 somethings" -SZA


Hello everyone, it has truly been a long time since I wrote a blog post but that is because so much has transpired in my life. I had to refocus and get my life together completely, but with this blog post I am going to do something different. I'm going to be vulnerable and speak about my current feelings and emotions. I want you all to know what I learned these last three months from everything that has transpired in my life. Also, be sure to comment below and give me feedback about what you've read! This blog is a safe space for all women and men to be exactly who you are, let's talk and discuss our feelings together! 

November 2018 was when everything began to go down hill. I was having extreme suicidal thoughts every day and attempted to kill myself  twice. I just wanted to finally be done with this thing called life. My emotions were all over the place, I was extremely depressed, more than I had ever been, and on top of all that I discovered I suffered from anxiety. This was a very hard pill to swallow. So finally in December I decided to make some changes in my life. 

I have to really thank my friend Tyamonee, rather he knows it or not, his situation really changed my life. On December 30th my best friend T'Reyah's brother was shot and killed. He was 22 years old, a loving father, brother, and son. His life was taken away too soon and after this happened, it really hit me that life is too short. The pain I felt for my best friend and her family was extreme. The pain of knowing my best friend, the person who is always there for me, is experiencing this tragedy really opened my eyes. My best friend was strong and still is strong, she encouraged me to keep pushing and I admire her resiliency more than anything. When Tyamonee passed, I realized you shouldn't take anything for granted because it can all be taken away in the blink of an eye. 

I decided to make changes, one going to see a therapist and getting medication for my depression. I know some people do not understand medication but depression is an illness and therapy and my medication has helped me extremely. Another major change was my boyfriend and I decided to break up, it was hard but much needed. I am thankful for my singleness because I am taking this time heal from past relationships, figure out who I am right now, work on my goals, focus on school, and just all together GRIND. Another change was I decided, to take time out to reflect and really try figuring out the root of all my pain, reflecting is key. 

So, today February 18th, 2019 I feel refreshed. I am so thankful to God for keeping me alive and surrounding me with my amazing family and friends. I am beyond blessed because three months ago I didn't think I was going to make it. I felt like depression was going to take me out before 2019. Now it is 2019 and I am standing strong, doing and feeling better. I am realizing that I may never have this life thing down pact but to always keep pushing and going. I learned to live life on the edge and to do any and everything that makes ME happy not anyone else but myself. I am learning that I do not need anyone's validation on what I do in my life but to live for me and take care of myself. I learned to slow down and not be so uptight. I am learning to connect with more people and being open to friendships. I am taking risk and not letting depression and anxiety take over me. I am learning to really walk by faith and not by sight, I do not know what my life will look like tomorrow, next month, or next year but I am present and I know today at this very moment I am filled with joy, love, peace, laughter, and a dash of craziness. I am accepting me for me and changing anything I do not like. I feel everyone should take risk and never let fear control them, put themselves first, learn to be selfish and selfless at the same time, and understand balance is a must. My 20's have just begun but been crazy so far full of confusion, a rollercoaster of emotions, pain, laughter, happiness, joy, and sadness but I am forever grateful for these 20 something's because I am growing each and everyday with so much more to learn along the way. So Thank God for them 

20 SOMETHINGS......